We can't give you information. We haven't got a Tannoy

I have arrived at that very fine line when I wonder if a two-week holiday in the sun or the snow is actually worth the ordeal of air travel – the Byzantine ticket pricing schemes, the invasive and tedious security lines, the crying babies, the unexplained delays, before you get on to the plane, while you sit on the runway silently begging air traffic control to end the torture and give you a precious “slot”, and while you wait for your suitcase which will always be the last off the carousel, even assuming that it’s actually on it … The sheer misery of the whole experience.

Anthony Horowitz, ‘We can’t give you information. We haven’t got a Tannoy’