Brixton Cops Ban Bashment & Funky House

Patrolman 1: “Right, so if it goes ‘fump fump fump,’ we go in and bust some heads, yeah?

Commander: “No, no, no! Remember, decent people listen to house too, so you’ve got to listen for those snares..” ♫ ba-dat-daa… ba-dat-daa… ba-dat-daa… ♫ “Hear that? That soca vibe? That’s your target.”

Patrolman 2: “What about Villalobos?”

Commander: “What about him?”

Patrolman 2: “Is he funky?”

Commander: “No not all. Next question.”

Patrolman 3: “What if they’re just playing a bunch of American gear?

Commander: “Right, this is trickier. If it’s just New York tunes, wait for it to play out. But the moment you hear some Karizma, consider it an escalation. Same with rewinds. Of course, if there are MCs you just shut it down regardless.”

Patrolman 4: “What about Night Slugs and Hyperdub? Do we go in”

Commander: “Hold off for now. We’re waiting for Dissensus to decide whether that’s really funky.”

Patrolman 5: “Are smart trainers OK?”

Commander: “Depends who’s wearing them.”

(via Wiretap, taken from Brixton Cops Ban Bashment & Funky House)